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Welcome to Uncle Owen's Lard Bucket! Located right off of I-15 in Bunkerville. Lookin' for heart-healthy choices? You won't find any here! You want organic? Go outside and munch on the lawn, wussy!
Here at Uncle Owen's you'll find food so tasty, it'll take your breath away. Aside from the patrons that can't breathe because they have a hunk of beef lodged in their throats. Happens more often than you'd expect.... but what does that tell ya? It means folks love the food so much, they can't wait for it to get to their stomachs!
Check below for a brief sampling of our menu!
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THE PORK-N-CHEEEEZY
Like Pork Chops? Like Mozzarella Sticks? Ever thought of combining the two to make an out-of-this-world sandwich? Of course you haven't! You haven't got the brains or the cajonés to do such a thing! That's why Uncle Owen is a bold genius, and you're just sitting there like a lobotomized labrador; dumbfounded and drooling!
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THE "BITE ME, CLOWN!" SANDWICH
They said it couldn't be done! It shouldn't be done! What the #@$% do they know?!
A boneless rib slab and 30 chicken nuggets. It's like 2 mega-sized McRibs filled with 30 McNuggets if McDonald's dared to do such a thing. Of course they never would, so ol' Uncle Owen had to step up to meet this challenge! If I ever met Ronald McDonald, I would bitch-slap him!
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We're still noodling with the name of this beauty. 2 slices of Pizza with a Twinkie center? Should it be the "Twizza"? The "Pinkie"? It should be called, "The most awesome sandwich you'll ever have", And at $4.99, it'll be like you're stealing from me! Like that Asian hooker stole from me that one time.... She took my wallet, my watch, and my clothes! I had to tackle her, naked in a motel parking lot. To be clear, I was naked, not the thieving hooker.... Wait... where was I? Why am I telling you this? Oh yeah, don't steal from me so I don't have to tackle you naked in the parking lot. Yep... I'm sure that's the point.
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